When I used to work in an office with cool coworkers, I was in a punchy mood one night and started writing haiku* based on real customer emails.
I am quite upset
At your stupid, sucky, lame
Mickey Mouse product.Email 1:
Template doesn’t work!
You guys are crooks! I hate you!
Refund my money!Email 2:
I was just joking.
Ignore my former email.
I figured it out.
On especially bad days when dealing with rude customers, my coworkers and I would instant message each other with “haiku that we would like to send over email.”
Valued customer:
We regret to inform you
That you are stupid.If I said bad words
I would say a lot of them
To this stupid man!
I found that this was a very safe way to vent frustration and keep a decent demeanor with customers and coworkers alike.
A friendly warning –
Haiku can be addictive,
unfortunately.
You may begin to
think, read, and speak in groups of
five, seven, and five.
* Haiku (the same word is used to refer to either singular or plural) is usually a short poem of three lines. The first and last lines have 5 syllables and the middle line has 7.